Nice AND Hard

In 2011 I listened to one of my favorite books on tape.  It was Tina Fey's sort of memoir and chronology on work and life.  'Bossypants' was funny and informative.  I listened each morning as I got ready to head out for work at WebMD.  At one point she discusses how in being a comedian on stage with other comedians, the use of the word 'and' makes all the difference.  It keeps the act going.  The use of the word 'but' kills an act. 
Speaking of keeping the act going, how can you use the word 'and' as I demonstrate below?

For years I went to bed early, woke up early, trained, and raced.  I know I've mentioned before - I loved it!  However, since not living that lifestyle anymore, I hadn't found a big reason to wake up early during the week, on the weekend, run much or run hard.  Instead, I found myself wanting to have a nice morning.  I figured this meant to wake up naturally, make a cup of coffee, spritz it up with steamed and frothed milk or Cool Whip out of the can, finish it off with a pinch of mocha powder, and read the latest installment of The Week under a little blanket.  While I was living in Oklahoma I'd also go pet every horse, cow, donkey, and buffalo I could.  Very nice morning.  Then 11am would roll around and I wasn't sure what to do.  Then 2pm would roll around, 4pm, and then the evening.  The easy day cruised along.  It seemed nice.  Nothing too hard.

That's me on the left along with the race directors in hats, my friend and co-worker, Kristen, and Jenny Simpson in the polka-dots.

Earlier this month I put on a race bib again.  It had been 3-4years since I'd put on a race bib, lined up, and paid attention to mile markers, splits, and what place I was in from start to finish.  I didn't actively and specifically train for the Disney Wine & Dine 1/2 Marathon, yet I had a string of early morning workouts and some Sunday track practices where I had started to go hard. I am really glad I woke up before 5am, put on the race bib, got to the starting line, and let my nature kick in. I ran 6:26s over the first half of the run and was pretty happy about how I was feeling in my racing flats.  I negative split the thing and ran 6:04 average over the last 5K with the last mile in 5:44.  I worked hard over the last mile or two.  I was happy and it was the nicest thing I've done for myself in quite some time.   I finished and was so happy that I'd gone hard.  It's not too often that we combine Nice AND Hard in our brains. 
Can you think of what you do in your life that is Nice AND Hard?

What's your motivation?

I was down in Sarasota last week talking with a girl I know fairly well.  She had done one Spartan Beast Challenge competition earlier this month.  Next, she is travelling to a Spartan event in South Carolina and Jacksonville after that.  As she talked more, I realized that she really-really likes these events and a lot of her life revolves around Spartan activities.  I've never done one so I couldn't fully get absorbed in her stories.  When I asked her, "Why SC?" she told me that this particular 3-part series, multi-location Spartan Beast Challenge gets a really-really cool medal. I kept quiet while thinking, "You're going to travel to SC to line yourself up for a  3-part series completion medal?" 

I kept listening, but I again realized that I am in 0-no way motivated by special medals like these or the Disney Coast-to-Coast ones.  It's great that some people get excited by that.  You've got to get excited by something, and well - can you imagine how competitive or depressing it would be if we were all only motivated by the same single thing?   I'm glad she's found something that revs her up.  On my drive home I had to think about what revved me up before and what revs me up now. 

It's not medals.  It never has been.  It wasn't the state rings that were my motivating factor, except a tad bit for the one that I got to mimic my brother's. 
The motivation, for me, would be to have people know me, to be famous in my field, for people to think highly of me, for them to want my autograph, to be sought out for interviews or posters, to have the platform to talk with coaches and kids and adults about athletics and the role it has in my life. 
In high school, I was motivated by breaking records and getting the State Championship. I enjoyed the pictures up in the gym with my teammates and coaches, by myself, and next to my brother.  Those pictures would be there for years.  If the records were good enough, they'd be there for years, too. The work would stick around for a little while longer.  For awhile they could see my name or my face and recall how hard I worked, how nice our group of girls was, or be motivated by the example, understand the tradition, and accept the challenge.
Yeah, the last two paragraphs might sound selfish or be egotistical, but those things were somewhat motivating.  Moreso I'd say I was thankful and it was nice to receive the recognition and to represent.  It may have also been for the reason that how we competed didn't involve running out of a tunnel to cheering crowds or coordinated cheers in the student section.  We ran over train tracks, into the woods for awhile, and met early in the morning and ran while it was still dark outside.  Half of our competitions weren't at home.
The real motivation (the non-things) has come from constant intrinsic discipline.  I wouldn't get outworked.  I had a young head that developed strongly around the ideas of doing what I learned, what I was told, and what was needed.  I pushed because I could.  How could you not?  How could you leave practice before you were done?  How could you not complete your weight room workout and step it up from the previous workout?  How could you not run the given mileage and strides as prescribed or even one more if you lost count? Why were these ideas so strongly burnt in me? 
I'm glad they were though. What things and non-things motivate you?  What doesn't motivate you at all?

 

Gregorian

A couple weeks ago, my godmother, Margo, sent me an article in the mail.  I send links all the time, but let me tell you - it was really nice to get this article in an envelope in my mailbox.  I am glad Margo sent it to me.  It was an article about Courtney Frerichs, a recent master's graduate, who ran the 3K Steeplechase in the 2016 Olympics and PRd at the meet.  She's a Kansas City girl - where Margo lives.  One particular paragraph stood out from the article.  I tore it out and have stared at it day after day.  I don't recall who wrote the article because I only have the torn-out paragraph now.  Still, I want to share this with you and give the writer credit for these words:
And here we might all pause in appreciation of those people in life who see in us something we don't know we have, those who believe in you before you believe in yourself and change your range and direction and self-perception.
Who might you believe in like this and guide along the way?

What's on YOUR plate (part 2 of 2)

I am very literal.  To me, your words mean a lot.  I am a believer in context and the specifics of your content. 
As I have mentioned, I am careful when it comes to relying on quotes.  I want to believe in not only the singular quote, but also the overarching theme and the speaker's values. 
Since high school and even into my years as a coach at UCF, I had a bulletin board up in my room, locker, or office.  (anyone still use bulletin boards anymore?)  I kept a powerful quote on that bulletin board...and well, it is from the Bible, so it's pretty easy to value!
1 Corinthians 10:21

You cannot drink from the cup of the Lord and from the cup of demons, too. You cannot eat at the Lord's Table and at the table of demons, too.

This quote in 1st Corinthians centers around fleeing from idolatry.  You know though - the Bible can be tough to understand!  And I was a 17yr old looking for discipline and reminders to be good and steadfast all the time.  I didn't idolize cross-country, but I did and still do heavily value the sport.  To do well was a healthy desire.  I used this quote to remind me to be a good person all the time everywhere.  I used this quote to not be a hypocrite.  I used it to help me keep choosing the good path.  I used it to remind myself to be a "24-hour-athlete" that was training through the summer and all school season.  I wasn't just showing up for practice day after day. 

First race of 1999 cross-country season (senior Hilary White Spier in black & me in red)

Final race of 1999 cross-country season (sophomore Jill Gerber leading and senior and college teammate Kelly Walker Brasol just behind me)

 

Being a 24hr athlete is another way of understanding the difference between being in 'practice mode' where you're going to practice in the morning or after school and spending an hour or so running versus being in 'training mode'.  Training mode is when you're living the life that supports your goals.  You're not practicing hard, but also sleeping very little.  Those are two very different things to have on your plate that do not support each other.  You're not running intervals hard on Sunday, but keeping your heart rate at 125bpm the rest of the week.  Practice mode is showing up for 2hrs of practice and eating chips for dinner because you didn't feel like making chicken and veggies.  Where do you fall short in training?  What keeps you from being a 24hr athlete?  Do you have too many things on your plate?  Where's your conflict, what's your demon?  Thankfully, my teammates and our coach, Tracey Kuhn, shared the same values and beliefs.  I am so thankful for Ashley, Natalie, Erin, Ali, Marisa, Ashley, Jen, Nicole, Leah, and Coach Tracey Kuhn.

 







What's on YOUR plate? (part 1 of 2)

When I decided to get back to competition, I called a few people I really trusted and who understood what was ahead --the people I considered experienced experts.  Ok, and also the people that I knew would pick up the phone and have this conversation with me.  I also called these two coaches because they knew ME.  I talked to Kevin Jermyn at Duke and Bob Braman at FSU.  In previous blog postings, you may recall I've mentioned both for something else they've helped me with along the way. 

I sat in my apartment in Orlando.  I was at the dining room table, probably taking notes.  I've always liked putting pen to paper.  One thing Kevin said to me really stood out.  He said, "you can have three things on your plate."  He wasn't talking about peas and carrots and chicken or salad and rice and beans.  He was telling me that I needed to focus in on my goals and not have too many things going on at once.  I knew Kevin was right.  I had heard him say this before to athletes at Duke when we coached there together.  I heeded his wisdom and moved to Indianapolis.  I lived there for about a week at which point I realized I had moved to Indiana.  Indiana?  I'm a Florida girl!  At that time I knew I had made a good move.  Over the next few years I was reminded of this good move every time I passed the corn fields.  I was in a place where I'd start fresh and get to really set the stage for concentrated training.  I moved into a situation and created the atmosphere I needed for success.  The three items on my plate were training and competing, a part-time clock-in and clock-out job, and a group of training partners that were like-minded.  I didn't try to make a lot of money with a full-time job, multiple jobs, or side jobs.  That wasn't my goal for this time period.  I didn't try to advance my career by joining local leadership programs, doing networking lunches, or by getting another master's degree.  That wasn't my goal.  I didn't proactively try to meet people that were submersed in the arts, triathlon, managing gyms, or teaching.  That wasn't my goal.  My goal was to fully prepare for each and every practice so I would be prepared to compete each and every time. 

Bob told me the same thing.  He encouraged the part-time job.  Afterall, you can't sit in your room and stare at a wall all day when you have an easy day.  Staring at the wall is also the last thing you want to do when you have a bad day. 
Guess what?  For the four years I lived this way, I PRd each year in each event. 
Who would you call?  How many items do you have on YOUR plate?

Preparing to Race--Your Mantra (part 3 of 3)

"It's worth it" on the inside of my purple state ring

The last two posts discussed my talk, "Preparing to Race" at the Brevard Distance Runner's Camp.  The discussion was carried out in three parts and yes, the final part was about a mantra.  You may have guessed that from the title of this post.

Do YOU have a mantra?  Do you know what a mantra is?

After my sophomore year of high school cross-country I wasn't sure about doing cross-country the final two years.  I enjoyed basketball and did well in track, yet cross-country had been difficult and hadn't gone so well. Maybe it wasn't for me I thought.  I loved my team and also I was brought up being taught the values of hard work and having to do things you don't always want to do.  I dug in and worked hard my junior year of cross-country and finished runner-up at the state meet.  Like anyone, I knew I had to win the state championship my senior year.  That meant I had to run more the summer of 1999 than I ever had and that it was going to be tough.  Thus began my mantra, "It's worth it." 

By combining the physical aspect from post 1 and the mental aspects of post 2, I got to work.  I repeatedly used my mantra. When it could have been easy to think, "I want to sleep in" or "Maybe I'll just run later" or "Why am I doing this?" or "I don't want to keep going" or "Who cares?" etc, I trained my brain, mile after mile, to default to "It's worth it."  I used this mantra daily as I worked hard, got tired, missed some fun nights, and the finish line seemed far off.  I used this and it worked. 

What's YOUR mantra going to be this upcoming season?  Find your idea or phrase from something meaningful or inspirational to you.  Then practice it over and over again.  Train your brain to default to what keeps you on track for your goals.  It's worth it. 





Preparing to Race (part 2 of 3)

At camp, after my great opening idea on what it takes to be prepared to race, most of the high school cross-country athletes understood and agreed that--  especially right now, the most important thing they could do to be prepared was to stay on top of their summer training.  To me, that seems pretty straightforward and physical.  Run, run, run when you’re tired, run so much you might cry, or snap, or cry and snap, and then run again more than you ever have.  That’s what summer going into your best season of high school looks like.  Physically tough, but straightforward. 

Many people also agree that running is some % mental and another % physical.  How does this work?  Where are you on the scale? On Monday afternoon I asked my first group at camp, “In July, do you find your sport to be more physical or mental?” I had them step to one side of the field to denote physical % majority or the other side to denote mental.  Then I asked them which majority side they leaned with in August once school had started, regular practice sessions were underway, and the first meet was nearby.  I moved on and asked them about October, the month of pre-state. And what about November?  On Monday and Tuesday I had completely different results amongst the groups.  We discussed each result along the way.

You might not be in high school, but do you have a season planned out?  …or do you have random races on your calendar?  What side would you stand on pre-season, early season, mid-season, and championship season?  How stuck in stone in this?  How does which side you stand on get adjusted by your previous race, your prior week’s training, reading about someone else’s result across the country, or by your coach and teammates and the culture and tradition of your training set-up?  Why did the Tuesday team’s responses look so different than the Monday group’s?

Later this week I will share with you part 3 of the talk I gave at the Brevard Distance Runner’s Camp.

Brevard Distance Runners Camp & Preparing to Race (part 1 of 3)

I LOVE this camp! And I've loved it since I started coming 20yrs ago.  Each July, I venture to Brevard, NC along with 500 other people that are excited to hit the mountainous trails of the Pisgah National Forest and Dupont State Park for a full week.  Some stay for the three separate weeks, but I make it for one. 

Each morning I am in charge of addressing a team or two and this year's topic was: Preparing to Race.
To get you up to speed with all of our high schoolers that were in on the discussion, here's a chance for you to imagine you were with us on the soft trails in the cool mountain air.
If I ask you, "Are you prepared to race?" you may first think about a quick checklist.  You may ponder:

• Am I hydrated? Have I eaten or packed the proper foods?
• Do I know the race start time? How am I getting there?
• What is my bedtime? Do I have my singlet, racing shoes, and bib all ready to go?

Imagine then it's August. The first race of the season is tomorrow and you're on your way home from a pasta dinner at a friend's house.  You're hydrated and you know the answers and have fulfilled the above questions.  Are you prepared to race?  Are you ready?
Well, not if you haven't done the training!  To be ready to race in August, Sept, Oct, Nov, you must-must-must be putting in the training.  Now.  This week.  This week on top of last week and each week moving forwards. 

• What are your summer training goals?  What are your weekly training goals?  What are your daily training goals? 

Are you hitting those?  What are you doing to ensure the highest likelihood of success towards each process goal? 
How are you preparing to be ready to race?  400miles in the summer, 50mpw, make each practice, run with the top group, keep a log, run 6 out of each 7 days?  Let's hear it! 

Next I had the athletes choose sides. 
In the month of July, is running more physical or mental?
In the month of August, is running more physical or mental?
In October?  What about in November?
Think about your season and we'll delve into responses next time.

(Did you see how fast Molly ran last week?!  Who can post her time fastest?)

 

Who's Molly? and 2010

Who's watching the Olympic Trials in Track & Field still?  Some pretty amazing results by some youngsters, veterans, and all in between.  It is exciting to see our team coming together. 
It didn't come together for a friend of mine.  Her name is Molly. 
I lived in Indianapolis for five years.  In last week's post I talked about 2008.  I said I'd talk about 2010 and I asked about Molly.  In following through on "Do what you say you're going to do" --I'm going to do just that!
While living in Indy, I met Molly.  We ran in many of the same meets.  Great girl and great work ethic.  Talented and driven.  Last week, this was her part of her post on Facebook:

I have been praised a thousand times for my resiliency and strength to carry on after have a career ending knee injury in soccer, ...5 knee surgeries to correct it, and miss 2 Olympic Teams and 1 World Championship team in track by a total of .3 seconds. I appreciate all of those thoughts and prayers.

Call it terrible luck. I can call it being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Unfortunately yesterday's Olympic Trials final cuts so deep that I am having trouble believing there is a silver lining at the end of all this. It has left me searching for answers and coming up with nothing but endless tears and a knot in my stomach.

Missed 2012 and 2016 Olympics and 1 World Championship team.  0.3seconds combined over 4 years.  Mere hundredths.  What would you say to her, what would you do? As her training partner, as her coach, as a teammate or loved one?  Where would you focus?  Have you experienced something like this?  Do you know someone that has been in a similarly tough situation? 

As a coach or teammate you have to do something.  You've been there the whole way through.  You must continue to stick with this person.  Nothing you say will make the situation all that much better.  How would you handle the situation if you were Molly?  Could you carry on?  What would be your motivation?

 

So back to 2010...in the next installment.  It involved a lot of phone calls and me not being quite pushy enough.  I got told 'no' a lot.  So what did I do?



"Do what you said you're going to do."

"Do what you said you're going to do."
I like to look forward and work to progress, but it is always important to look back and reflect, too.  In a previous blog, I mentioned I would discuss 2008-2010.  One of my mantras has been the quote above. 
In 2008 I worked the U.S. Olympic Trials out in Eugene.  So cool, right?  Great summer job?  Yes, in all ways...except one.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I wouldn't come back to this meet in 2012 and wear khakis and ask Olympic qualifiers what size jackets they wanted for the USA kit I would mail them the following week.  I watched, writhed, and devised a four year plan. Because I'm realistic, but also didn't really know what I was getting myself into, I gave myself a two year re-up to call my bluff.   
I mean honestly.  I hadn't run well since 1999 when I was in the fall of my senior year of high school.  Yes, high school.  Mono took me out of my senior year spring track season and college was no good.  Then it was time for grad school and to get a job.  That put me with eight years of very little running.  I made goals anyhow and I put myself on report for 2010.  Then I got to work. I had to!

In 1999, my PRs were: 800yds 2:12, Mile 4:55, 2mile 11:09, 5K 18:03...and Pole Vault 11'1.25"
In 2008 my PRs were: 800m 2:11, 1500m 4:29 once and 4:37 every other time (converts to Mile times of 4:47 and 4:55 every other time), indoor mile 5:02, 3K 10:48, 3K Steeple 10:42, 5K 18:03 still. 

Pretty average for a high schooler and I was 8 years removed from high school graduation. Not much progress.  And those 2008 PRs really are from 2001 when I had one decent season.

If I hadn't made enough progress by 2010, I would need to move on and be satisfied that I had given it a shot.  I would also need to recognize that it wasn't worth another two years (2011-2012) of training and working part-time to be very mediocre.  I am confident that there are things that I can do very well.  If I could only compete in track & field in mediocrity, I needed to recognize that and leave the training and competing to go pursue other great endeavors. 

One big motto or mantra during these years was, "Do what you say you're going to do." I did.  I also did what my coach told me to do.  I moved up to Indianapolis and trained under Coach Greg Harger with a crew of 800-1500m guys mainly.  I still love looking back at those training logs from the fall of 2008.  I am so thankful Coach Harger encouraged me to join the Indiana Invaders and gave me a place to start developing.  3x1K in 3:53-3:55 for a workout and I was pleased.  He still let me on the team?  My teammates still talked to me?  No one laughed?  Thankfully I had tunnel vision and not much interest or time for looking up too much on the internet.  I wasn't good enough to bump into anyone good and have conversations regarding major workouts.  So I continued into the spring of 2009. 

My PRs that season became: 800m 2:11indoors, indoor mile 4:49, 1500m 4:24, 3K Steeple 10:11, 5K 17:42 at practice
Progress, a lot of work, and not good enough.  I could see progress in all sorts of ways and I had to keep practicing.  Things were working.  I was learning. 
Every Wednesday I would get home from work at 5:20pm, listen to the same two songs as I changed for practice, then run out the door to IUPUI to practice.  I was loving it!

So how did 2010 go?  How did I base my decision?  Who gave me feedback in that decision-making process? 
Next week I'll ask you what you would say to Molly and tell you how and why I kept going in 2010. 
Are you watching the Trials?

 

Good, Great, Greatist

Many of us have heard of the book "Good to Great" by Jim Collins.  It is a somewhat common book used in business culture on how some companies progress from being pretty good to leaping forward, crossing the divide, and being great.  It is when I lived and trained in Indiana that I was introduced to this book. 
You have heard the phrase, "Don't let good get in the way of great."

It can be easy for us to stop pursuing higher realms when we're doing a good job.  We hear people cheering us on with, "Good job!" "Way to go!" "Nicely done!"  How common is it that we have someone in our lives reminding us that we could still do better, that we could still do great?  If you run everyday, people will be impressed.  If you run over 5miles they'll think you're in incredible shape.  If you win your age group, people will ask you about your prize.  But reflect for a moment - Could you complete a few training runs a little better?  Could you prepare for each day with a little more focus so you can knock your track session out of the park?  Could you have put more of a gap on 2nd place? 
This idea of 'good getting in the way of great' is fairly common, yet having those people in your corner supporting you to reach higher or dig deeper is less common.  For some, it's mom or dad.  For some it's another family member, an inspiring athlete, or a ruthless teammate.  For others it's a coach that is there for you helping you realize that you're not maxed out and that your good is not great.  You may have motivation deep down inside you, but still - find someone that checks up on you and once in a while either calls you out or eggs you on to one rung higher like Coach Pat Summit did year in and year out with the Lady Vols basketball team.

On the flipside, I was talking with my friend, Beth last week. 
(She also writes a blog = http://www.discombobulatedrunning.com/ )
In 2014 she competed in an Ironman.  Many people see a marathon or an Ironman as the ultimate challenge.  Beth did.  She is very involved in the athletic world and wanted to 'stack up' amongst others and challenge herself to the fullest.  


(Beth - http://www.discombobulatedrunning.com/ , photo courtesy of Daryl Wilson)

Since crossing the line in 2014, Beth has had a tough time getting motivated again.  She's had a tough time determining what holds value and what to do next.  I get it.  Since doing an Ironman, why care about a 1/2 Ironman? Since running a marathon at 8min pace, what worth does a 4mi run at 9min pace hold?  What's the point of it?  Who cares?  Why do it? 
If you have been in this situation before, you can relate that 'great is getting in the way of good' and it's frustrating.  Have you been running a workout or a race and noticed that it's not going great = you're not going to win or you're not going to PR?  How good can you still compete and finish?  Great athletes have great and good races, not great and 'oh it's not going to happen - throw in the towel' races. 

And finally (so you realize I'm not a terrible speller...and yes, my laptop has the red scraggly spellcheck line), a fun website introduced to me by my friend Morgan in 2013 is www.greatist.com  The MOVE section is fun for some new ideas here and there.  It's better geared towards fitness than championship racing, but hey, I'm often in tunnel-vision and don't mind an outside influence every so often.


(Morgan, #25, photo courtesy of WVU Sports)

Who do you have to keep supporting you in great endeavors? Who's your Coach Pat Summit?
Was today good?  Was today great?  Was today one of your Greatist days?


 

Goal 4: qualifying and marks

Remember that post "Having a coach help you with your goals" and goals 1-3?  Now here's the last goal of that 4-part goal series. 

I knew what I wanted.  I knew what was meaningful to me.  I came up with my four goals.  In the summer of 2008 they were far off and seemed lofty, yet I was sure of them.

1) acquire athletic sponsorship

2) make the PanAm team

3) compete in Europe

4) automatically qualify for the Trials finals and have an Olympic mark

It was June of 2012. I was qualified for the US Olympic Team Trials and I had hit 3 of my 4 goals.  If you look at goal 4, it seems like another pretty good goal.  Look at it.  Trials and Olympics! 
As a coach and as an athlete, I hated watching heat after heat and counting times and places to see if an athlete had made the next round on time.  Did he or she squeeze into the next round?!  It is nerve-racking and doesn't fully provide the greatest confidence boost.  At a big meet like the Trials where there's already a heckuva lot of adrenaline and excitement and anxiety, I wanted to be able to secure an automatic qualifying position which would mean that I raced smartly and took care of business.  I also wanted to get that Olympic qualifying mark because that's a big deal.  I understood that it didn't matter if you finished in the top-3 in the finals, but didn't have a fast enough time.  You wouldn't go to the Olympics and you could even be stealing an opportunity from someone that was good and had a bad day. 
I made sure to take care of business in the prelim.  I had been set on goal 4 for years.  It served me well.  I ran a terrific race and was pumped up during it.  I remember the last 500m of the prelim very well.  I was happy and confident and made a great move on the backstretch.  After the final water jump I knew I could get the automatic qualifying spot and finished well.  I ran a PR and got an Olympic mark.  Goal 4! Got it!

(post via LetsRun: top five advance automatically: Coburn, Kipp, Cathey, DiCrescenzo, and Wade. Aguilera the next fastest non automatic qualifier in 9:51.02. first heat of the women's 3000 Meter Steeplechase won by Emma Coburn at 9:43.19)

I was pleased with myself, cooled-down, and then got in the ice tank.  Then it hit me. 
Uh-oh.  Now what? 
I had no goal.  I had completed my 4 goals and it was Thursday evening in Eugene.  The finals were Saturday evening and I had no goal.  Of course it's everyone's goal to make the Olympics, right?  I had never really fully considered it.  I had tried to once or twice, but I couldn't wrap my head around it.  I had messed up.  Big time.  I didn't train with people that had been to the Olympics.  I didn't have a coach who trained athletes that had run in the track & field Olympics.  I'm not Michael Phelps or Michael Jordan or Shannon Miller. 
But who goes into the finals not aiming for the top-3?  How can you aim for the top-6?  Not in the Trials finals afterall.  Right?
The first 5minutes of the finals - here's what was going through my head on fast repeat:
"I'm in the top-3!  This feels good!  The top-3 make the Olympics!  I could make the Olympics!  The Olympics?!  I'd be peers with Michael Phelps and the likes?"  This was on repeat.  Like some terrible dj in my head with the lyrics looping.  This was exhausting.  I hit the mile mark and it got overwhelming and exhausting.  I wasn't focused in on the moment.  I wasn't focused in on the race.  I didn't know how to process this.  I wasn't prepared for the final.  I still am impressed with people that can wrap their heads around the idea that they could make the Olympics.  So lofty, so terrific.  I am still pleased with my process.  I learned to aim bigger.  I hit my goals.  I was zoned in fully.  But what if they had been bigger? 
What would you have done differently?  What goals do you have set for yourself?  Are they lofty?  Are you putting yourself in an environment that pushes you towards them?  Do your goals need to be evaluated by a coach?

 

Next week I will touch on 2008 and 2010 - part of the process. 

Goal 3 of 4

I wrote an earlier post titled "Having a coach help you with your goals" and so far I have touched on goals 1 and 2.  To bring you back to that post:

I knew what I wanted.  I knew what was meaningful to me.  I came up with my four goals.  In the summer of 2008 they were far off and seemed lofty, yet I was sure of them.

1) acquire athletic sponsorship

2) make the PanAm team

3) compete in Europe

4) automatically qualify for the Trials finals and have an Olympic mark

Over the next few weeks I will touch on these goals and the process of getting to them and what I learned.

Goal 3: Compete in Europe
In my mind and as I understood it, all the really good track & field for professionals happened in Europe.  In 2008, when I was coming up with my four goals, there weren't many competitive professional meets in the US, especially in the summertime.  Nowadays there are a few and the fields are terrific!  It's exciting to see the development.  In 2008 though, Europe was the place to be.  Whether it be for competition, for money, for the number of meets, for how the sport is conducted, or for almost any reason, Europe, in my mind, was where you had to race in order to really be an elite professional.  So I scheduled a trip.   
I have had a tendency to get involved in many things and not leave myself enough time to thoroughly and properly work through each item.  I am working more and more now to not check boxes, but to be more thoughtful and thorough in all that I do.  In 2011 though, I was adamant on goal 3 and approached this goal as a checklist item.  I had been running well each of the last three seasons and I didn't see 2012 as a good choice since it was an Olympic year and my 4year marker (more on that idea another time). I had to make it happen in 2011.  I wasn't part of a professional training group so I made my own plans.  With the help of David Watkins, the Verdoncks in Belgium, and a guy named Luc in Scandinavia, I got entered into a few meets, had places to stay, and was set-up to rabbit which guaranteed money to help support me on the trip.  I arranged the trip like a typical foreigner.  I was going to Europe.  Europe was Europe. This was my opportunity.  No big deal flying from the US to Finland to Belgium to Sweden.  Also known as the Indianapolis Road Mile to the Joensuu Games to the Flanders Cup to the Karlstad Grand Prix.  Also known as a 14.5hr flight and lots of time zones and a 2hr train ride, then another 1750miles and then 750 more miles.

Joensuu Games to Flanders Cup.

I found the email I sent to my family after booking my trip and completing the first leg of it.  Keys of the email:

I thought I was flying out Sunday from Chicago, but it appears I booked Monday the 25th.
En puhu suomea.  = I don't speak Finnish.  and Auttakaa! = Help!
Turns out...
I'm hoping to stay with a friend of...
We'll see if I can get anything...
I booked a ticket out of Oslo (hadn't checked to see if friend was in town while I was going to be there.  Guess what?!  She wasn't!)
I am only taking one backpack over to Europe
I'm only taking my iPod touch for wi-fi, not my laptop.  I'd rather not use my phone while I'm in Europe or Canada.  I'm not missing - I'll be exploring the world...and being me!  I learned a lot in Canada about how to make this trip smoother.  2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner, get some logistics figured out ahead of time, get help, make cash...or just PR! 

All quite concerning.  I thought I was ready for European racing because I had 2-in-1?!

After leaving the US on the 25th (not 24th!), I arrived into Helsinki about 9 or 10pm and took the 2hr train up to Joensuu.  I got checked into the dorm and raced the 1500m the next day.  It sure didn't go well as you likely could have and should have guessed.  I checked that meet off my list after having dinner with the Americans. I flew down to Belgium after a brief tour of Helsinki and Suomenlinna Island.  After finding my ride from Brussels to Ghent, I met the Verdoncks who hosted me, tried horse meat, and later that night rabbited the steeple.  Great opportunity and such a great experience at that meet.  On the cool-down most all the American girls ran together.  I listened and heard about their experiences and situation.  They had arrived into Europe and had a home base in Luzern.  19 days ago.  This was their first race.  They had been training. 
Ugh.  What was I doing!  I had asked for a little help, but I was definitely not in an elite athlete set-up.  Then is when I started learning that athletes were coming over to Europe and living for the summer months.  They weren't arriving one night and racing the next day, staying with friends of friends, and going for adventure runs wherever they could.  I toed the line, was a tourist for a day, and traveled to my next location.  Total whirlwind.  It was an amazing experience and medium racing.  I am glad I got out there.  I learned a lot about track and field and a little about Europe.  I would not do it the same way again.
What part of your life or work or training have you been simply checking off the list?  What does it look like to be more thorough and knowledgeable before acting?  It probably means getting fewer tasks done, but producing much more meaningful work.  How can you make an adjustment today to tackle the big projects and not get lost in the trees?

And then there's the trip I took in January of 2012, too!  We'll get to that another time!
 

Famous?

Once, back in high school, my mom and I were having a conversation about what I wanted to be when I grow-up.  We got to a point when I said that I did not want to be famous.  I was a very ambitious kid and so she continued the conversation further to understand my reasoning.
First, you've got to know two things:

1) Not until I was about 13 did I learn that Dolly Parton sang. I was with my grandmother in Tampa standing in line at the Whaley's grocery store.  I saw the magazine at the checkout counter with Dolly Parton plastered on the front.  "Grandmomma, is Dolly Parton famous for anything else besides her looks?" 

Of course I meant Dolly's bouncing bleach blonde curls, enormous boobs, miniature waist, and maybe the eyeshadow.  It was then that I learned that she sang.  And a few years later when I put her together with "I will always love you" and "Hard Candy Christmas"  which remain two of my very favorites. 

2) I am the same age as Britney Spears and had a hint of looking like her a teeny bit when I was in high school.  I did not want to end up shaving my head and having photographers constantly after me to see if I had put undies on that day.  That was too much. 

Instead, I told my mom that I wanted to be famous in my field. 

Back in April I got up to Boston to work the Boston expo.  One morning I was running with a few other NB associates along the Charles.  One guy I was with said. "that's Bill Rogers" as we passed some older man running nicely along the path in the opposite direction.  Pretty cool I thought.  Just the right amount of famous.  I continue to love the running community.

Last week I mentioned the quote about "What makes a man run?"  This week, I mention to you another quote given to me by my brother on a magnet that I also have on the side of the fridge:

"If you want to win a race, you have to go a little berserk." -- Bill Rogers

This doesn't mean you need to act stupid, be rash, or go crazy overboard. You need to realize the differences between taking a risk and knowing what is a calculated risk. 

How can you get uncomfortable?  When's the last time you did?  What scares you about getting into this realm?  What makes you hesitate?  What are you hung up on with yourself? 

When you get to 'that' part of a race or tough workout, how will you respond?

When I was training hard, I knew that was it for me.  I didn't question if I could hit the splits or do the work.  I questioned if I would go for it when planned...or would I try to rationalize at the tough moment that I should go later?  I questioned if when it got really hard would I be tough enough to dig down?  If the race went earlier than I hoped, would I step up to bat?  I worked on my self-confidence and I worked on my ego to get to a point of believing, "I can't help but go fast."  Training with this mindset got me places.  Having Bill Rogers running around in my head got me places.  I got to point where I didn't question myself.  That was incredibly freeing!  What places do you want to go?  How will you go a little berserk?

Goal 2

June 6, 2016

PICKING UP WHERE I LEFT OFF = Goal 2

I hit Pre's trails and so it began.  I knew what I wanted.  I knew what was meaningful to me.  I came up with my four goals.  In the summer of 2008 they were far off and seemed lofty, yet I was sure of them.

1) acquire athletic sponsorship

2) make the PanAm team

3) compete in Europe

4) automatically qualify for the Trials finals and have an Olympic mark

Over the next few weeks I will touch on these goals and the process of getting to them and what I learned.

Making the PanAm team quietly became a secret and annoying goal in 2007.  At the time, I was coaching at Duke and working with a girl named Liz.  I thought I was very much like Liz as a person and athlete, just a couple years older.   I traveled with Liz after the NCAA season to Indianapolis for the USA Track & Field championships.  I watched her compete in the finals of the steeplechase and finish high enough to fill-out her application for making the PanAmerican team.  She finished 6th.  Depending on who in the top-5 chose to accept the offer to compete at the PanAm Games, she had a chance of representing the USA in international competition.  What an honor!  I hadn't done every tempo, long run, regular run, or workout alongside her, but I had run alongside enough to know what she was doing and if I could hang.  I could hang for parts of it.  I could do the long run and stick with the team up the final hill of the Al Buehler trail along the golf course. I could go on a run, and I could do the strides over hurdles and barriers right in-step with her.  At that point though, I didn't have the training to be able to handle the work day-in and day-out.  I realized that I truly had the talent, but hadn't done the consistent work.  I was inspired.  Although I don't consider myself a jealous person in the least, I was a little jealous that she had been in an environment that encouraged the work and also that she had done it all. 

Liz in purple coaching for TCU - we reunite.

I tried to shelve the goal, but it didn't work.  When I get inspired, I get adamant.  I can't convince myself I'm ok if I've got this burning desire. 

My dad was in the Navy for 29 years.  He was a fighter pilot in the F/A-18 Hornet.  Bad ass hero.  (He was the oldest active fighter pilot in the world when I was growing up.)  He fought for our country and I realized that I wanted to wear the USA proudly on my chest, too, and fight.  As he reminded me, "Go fast and turn left."  It's not only how you run a track race, it's how he took off from and landed back on the aircraft carrier.  

Thanks, dad!

I shelved the goal.  Until 2008. Then I started getting ready.