Dear Gran'momma,

Dear Gran'momma,
I love you dearly and I am so happy I got to spend time with you on your birthday. I love spending time with you on Sundays, too.  I was quite bummed out when my mom told me you weren't coming on the horseback riding trip in the Gulf.  We came up with the idea and thought you'd LOVE it.  My mom said that you had ridden horses a lot as a child and that you'd even done it through the water.  We thought you'd love it again and it was going to be a great girls' trip on a Sunday at the Sunshine Skyway.  My mom set-up the reservation with Cypress Breeze Farms and when I asked her details, she told me you weren't coming.  
We thought you'd love it --so what happened?  
She said you didn't want to get hurt.  I never like to hear that from someone.  Gran'momma, you're most agile and athletic and I was certain you wouldn't fall off or get hurt.  This basic reasoning didn't sound like you.  You take things head-on.  You're aggressive and have a go-for-it attitude.  My mom proceeded to tell me that you didn't want to risk it because if anything went wrong you wouldn't be able to play tennis.  NOW I GET IT!  And I love you more!  I love that you know what you like, you know what is important to you, and you stick with it.  You didn't cave in to peer pressure or try to make us happy.  You stuck to your guns.  While I would have loved to have seen you smiling and having fun up on a horse out in the water, I am so glad you got in your doubles match on Monday morning.  And you won!  Thank-you for being you and for setting a strong example to me about knowing where to focus and how to execute.  What have you done recently that's taken you out of focus from your priorities? 

Prepare Yourself

(3 of 3)



with Liz, German, Kirubel, and Kelly

I was SO dang sore.  I knew I’d be in a rough situation when I was getting sore DURING the last half mile of Gasparilla! After a Tuesday shakeout, I did a light workout on Wednesday and scheduled hilly bridge repeats for not just a couple days later, but the next week.  I ran the bridge repeats with ML who was also looking to race the Gate River Run and PR.   We pushed it on the uphills and it was super windy from the west.  At this point the Gate River Run 15K wasn’t too far away.  Just 3 more days!  The day before the race, I got together with my high school friend OS and we ran through UNF’s trails.  I know myself well enough at this point.  If I hadn’t scheduled both sessions, I am certain I wouldn’t have done either big run.  The 8miles worth of bridge repeats would  have been a basic 4mi run in my neighborhood.  The 5mi trail run would have either been a basic 3mi shuffle or a sleep-in with the idea of 'rest' being rationalized.  But I prepared, scheduled them, and did them.  Happily.

 

The race began.  When I got to the Hart Bridge (the Green Monster) at roughly mile 8, I saw three girls ahead of me.  I knew that I could get the first girl and I loved feeling the adrenaline to fight.  It wasn’t a hard pass, but I made sure to jump on it. Then came the second girl I passed and I was gaining mental momentum.  It got windy and I was maybe half way up the bridge.  I looked ahead and saw the third girl.  She was a ways up.  I attempted a couple quick calculations.  Math calculations get significantly harder deep into a race.  My watch was all out of whack and the race clocks were set for the overall field, not the women’s elite wave.  I looked ahead and figured that I needed to beat that girl if I wanted to get under 58:00.  I’d run 58:12 at Gasparilla and everyone conceded that Gate was slower.  = It’s hotter at Gate, twists through neighborhoods, and contains two bridges.   Still, I wanted to break 58 for me.  For some reason I was sure I had to beat the girl near the top of the bridge to do so.   As soon as I was getting close, the Green Monster got to her and she broke.  She was walking.  No way in hell was I letting someone who was walking beat me.  No way.  I was happy to get feisty.  I was closing in on her and she started running again.  Race was on!  Fight was on!  I peeked over at her as I passed and I realized by her pink singlet that she lives in Jacksonville and runs for the local running store, 1^st Place Sports.  I love that place, but no way was she going to beat me.  I’d worked hard up the bridge and had to defend my position by running aggressively downhill and getting a little ugly over the last two minutes.  It worked and I ran 57:48!  I finished 41^st or 42^nd and you could argue I wasn’t in the fight.  I'd argue I was in my own little fight and I proved to myself how important preparation is for me.  The little bit of preparation I did between the Gasparilla 15K and the Gate 15K wasn’t a lot, but it did help me pull on many past deeper experiences of being feisty, being compelled, and feeling competitive.  It was so good to be in the fight!

Push Yourself

     Pushing Myself (2 of 3)

The next two posts in this 3-part series focus on the single idea of ‘Pushing Myself’ that played out two different ways between the Gasparilla 15K and Gate River Run 15K.  Thankfully, the better scenario plays itself out later in the series.  I learned from the poor preparation and made a good adjustment! 

At the end of February I squeezed in the Gasparilla 15K.  My calendar of events didn’t fully align with the Gasparilla 15K, but I wanted to give it a ‘go’ and put myself on the line for the straight-forward challenge.  I couldn’t bow-out because I wasn’t fully prepared.  Not these days.  Might as well run hard, push myself, and see what I could do --plus it’s such a great local race with such great people and I've got history with it!

1993 - Susan was the director then and still is now!

I ran a bit better than I suspected, but we all know that when the gun goes off, I’m going to go hard.  I could only go so hard due to fitness.  Gasparilla 15K = Flat out & back race.  I ran 6:16s over the first half/6:15s over the second half.  Pretty dang good execution.  Controlled, but hard.  I ran the first 7.5 or so miles side-by-side with EW.  (I wrote about EW in my initial post  about the Disney Marathon).

Thanks, MarathonFoto!

So—to get to it: What stuck out is that when EW took off with about 1.5 miles to go, I couldn’t respond/ I couldn’t match it.  It wasn’t just physical.  Much of it was, yes; however, I had no recent experience in pushing myself.  I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t have the drive, I didn’t feel compelled, I lacked practice.  I had nothing to pull from for motivation or need.  I hadn’t worked for it.  She got away from me tenth-by-tenth and I had no fight.   I enjoyed running a good hard race, but I didn’t enjoy not being in the fight!

Afterwards I reflected and figured Gasparilla would be a good practice and wake-up call before the Gate River Run 15K two weeks later in March.  I recognized I needed to run and practice pushing myself before the Gate River Run.  I wasn’t going to line up in my hometown… in the women’s elite crowd…wearing New Balance head-to-toe… and not be significantly more aggressive. A couple days later came the hilly bridge repeats late on a windy morning.

 

 

Find Yourself

AH wins the Big-12 1K!
 
Mid-February I was spurred to write down "Find Yourself" in my blog notes.  I knew it would be my next topic, but I tossed this one around for a little bit.  Ok, a long bit.  That was mid-February, and yes, now it's mid-May.  I bought a total fixer upper in the meantime and wrote the next two parts of this mini-series.  I struggled with wrapping this one into a pretty topic, but I won't let this idea die.  Stick with me on these. 

• What do you think helps you "find yourself" or "know yourself" well? 

When I was in college I had a friend, RR, that went on a big pilgrimage.  He did the Camino de Santiago, a long walk, over in Spain.  He was a decent Spanish speaker, but he wanted to do the self-guided two-week walk quietly.  I specifically remember when he said he wanted to "find himself" along the way.  I'm all for self-reflection and it is something I work on, but for me I bet after a couple days, I'd zone out and just walk along step-by-step...slowly. 

Camino de Santiago

I identify so much more with the girl pictured above.  I know AH and helped coach her during her freshman year at OSU.  After this past fall cross-country season, she said she was going to "step it up and just see what could happen."  When asked about her plan going into the race above: "My plan was to win."

• How would you face the pilgrimage and what would you get out of that?
• How would you face the possibility of a big win--one that's been eluding you?
• Do you find more success in 'finding yourself' or 'getting to know yourself' more in times of quiet or when faced with challenges?

I love time to slow down and reflect, don't get me wrong.  I try to do it a couple times per week.  I sit in my green rocking chair and read a Biblical reflection or an essay on ethics and perspective.  I sip a coffee and zone in on the ideas.  Then I write about it.  Writing makes me be accountable and it also is a tool to help me remember ideas more fully.  

I have had the opportunity to jump in some road races again the last few months.  I can't help it, but I love running.  I love how it makes me feel and I fully appreciate how straight-forward a race is, too.  I got away from it for a bit, but my goodness, I love those moments of difficulty and seizing the moment to press onward.  I love to create the challenge and step up to it.  Races are major practices and huge reinforcements.  I have signed up for more.  I know what greatness they serve me.  They help me not only know myself, but get to practice executing my values.

  

 



Leave your friend behind?

   A couple weeks back I ran into my friend, MP.  She was just getting done with a pedicure and I was leaving work in Tampa.  We'd been in middle school and high school together and played on the same basketball teams.  --Bumping into her is one of the reasons I'm so glad I've moved back to Florida.  I get to run into people that I already know and want to know more. 
  MP opened up to me about her most recent race out west.  She had a "strange, uncomfortable, all around bad experience" running her second-ever half-marathon.  Guess what - it got hard at mile 10!  At first, I thought to myself, "well, yes - that's always where it gets hard in a 13.1 mile race.  I also recalled this idea:
 

"Never really give in as long as you have an earthly chance, and above all don't allow yourself to fancy that you are in this predicament until the gruesome knowledge is absolutely forced upon you.  For however bad you may be feeling, it is by no means impossible that other fellows may be feeling quite as much, if not more distressed." -- Alf Shrubb

For MP, it wasn't just that it got hard, it was that she had a complete meltdown and she was doing the event side-by-side with a friend.  As she was melting down she told her friend to run ahead.  Her friend wouldn't leave her behind and continue her own race.  She stuck around trying to be a good friend.  MP got more frustrated.  And then more again, begging and bargaining with her friend to go ahead.  MP even sprinted a couple times to ditch her friend.  It got ugly.  MP pretended to rally back over the course of the last mile, but still felt sad, guilty, and like she'd ruined the entire race and muddied her friendship for the rest of the day.  MP's friend really had been in a bind. 

   I am really thankful she shared her story with me as three times since then I have been in a similar situation. 
   Last weekend I ran with my boyfriend.  RB doesn't get quite as excited about running as I do.  Not at all.  In fact, he simply doesn't enjoy running at all.  He does it because he knows the cardio is good and it's a super efficient and effective exercise.  We did a fartlek throughout mile 2 and he was pretty worn out half a mile later.  He told me to go ahead.  At this point I recalled MP's story.  He and I both recognized he was struggling at this point whereas I felt good.  RB was in MP's shoes and I was the friend.  I ran ahead.  I felt good.  I got to the end of our route a couple minutes later (3mile route) and then turned back to finish the run with RB.  There was my mistake!  He felt like since I turned around and came back to run with him, essentially I beat him twice.  And he's competitive.  Ouch! 
   He and I ran together again a few days later.  I have learned that with him, I can run ahead and then it's best to add on a mile rather than turn back to finish with him.  I get it.  And I am learning. 
So back to MP and you --
How do YOU mix friends, training partners, racing, and knowing when to stick together or separate?  What do you do when you're having that runner's high and your partner is experiencing a low point or just not quite as strong of a day?