A couple weeks back I ran into my friend, MP. She was just getting done with a pedicure and I was leaving work in Tampa. We'd been in middle school and high school together and played on the same basketball teams. --Bumping into her is one of the reasons I'm so glad I've moved back to Florida. I get to run into people that I already know and want to know more.
MP opened up to me about her most recent race out west. She had a "strange, uncomfortable, all around bad experience" running her second-ever half-marathon. Guess what - it got hard at mile 10! At first, I thought to myself, "well, yes - that's always where it gets hard in a 13.1 mile race. I also recalled this idea:
I am really thankful she shared her story with me as three times since then I have been in a similar situation.
Last weekend I ran with my boyfriend. RB doesn't get quite as excited about running as I do. Not at all. In fact, he simply doesn't enjoy running at all. He does it because he knows the cardio is good and it's a super efficient and effective exercise. We did a fartlek throughout mile 2 and he was pretty worn out half a mile later. He told me to go ahead. At this point I recalled MP's story. He and I both recognized he was struggling at this point whereas I felt good. RB was in MP's shoes and I was the friend. I ran ahead. I felt good. I got to the end of our route a couple minutes later (3mile route) and then turned back to finish the run with RB. There was my mistake! He felt like since I turned around and came back to run with him, essentially I beat him twice. And he's competitive. Ouch!
He and I ran together again a few days later. I have learned that with him, I can run ahead and then it's best to add on a mile rather than turn back to finish with him. I get it. And I am learning.
So back to MP and you --
How do YOU mix friends, training partners, racing, and knowing when to stick together or separate? What do you do when you're having that runner's high and your partner is experiencing a low point or just not quite as strong of a day?
MP opened up to me about her most recent race out west. She had a "strange, uncomfortable, all around bad experience" running her second-ever half-marathon. Guess what - it got hard at mile 10! At first, I thought to myself, "well, yes - that's always where it gets hard in a 13.1 mile race. I also recalled this idea:
"Never really give in as long as you have an earthly chance, and above all don't allow yourself to fancy that you are in this predicament until the gruesome knowledge is absolutely forced upon you. For however bad you may be feeling, it is by no means impossible that other fellows may be feeling quite as much, if not more distressed." -- Alf Shrubb
For MP, it wasn't just that it got hard, it was that she had a complete meltdown and she was doing the event side-by-side with a friend. As she was melting down she told her friend to run ahead. Her friend wouldn't leave her behind and continue her own race. She stuck around trying to be a good friend. MP got more frustrated. And then more again, begging and bargaining with her friend to go ahead. MP even sprinted a couple times to ditch her friend. It got ugly. MP pretended to rally back over the course of the last mile, but still felt sad, guilty, and like she'd ruined the entire race and muddied her friendship for the rest of the day. MP's friend really had been in a bind.
For MP, it wasn't just that it got hard, it was that she had a complete meltdown and she was doing the event side-by-side with a friend. As she was melting down she told her friend to run ahead. Her friend wouldn't leave her behind and continue her own race. She stuck around trying to be a good friend. MP got more frustrated. And then more again, begging and bargaining with her friend to go ahead. MP even sprinted a couple times to ditch her friend. It got ugly. MP pretended to rally back over the course of the last mile, but still felt sad, guilty, and like she'd ruined the entire race and muddied her friendship for the rest of the day. MP's friend really had been in a bind.
I am really thankful she shared her story with me as three times since then I have been in a similar situation.
Last weekend I ran with my boyfriend. RB doesn't get quite as excited about running as I do. Not at all. In fact, he simply doesn't enjoy running at all. He does it because he knows the cardio is good and it's a super efficient and effective exercise. We did a fartlek throughout mile 2 and he was pretty worn out half a mile later. He told me to go ahead. At this point I recalled MP's story. He and I both recognized he was struggling at this point whereas I felt good. RB was in MP's shoes and I was the friend. I ran ahead. I felt good. I got to the end of our route a couple minutes later (3mile route) and then turned back to finish the run with RB. There was my mistake! He felt like since I turned around and came back to run with him, essentially I beat him twice. And he's competitive. Ouch!
He and I ran together again a few days later. I have learned that with him, I can run ahead and then it's best to add on a mile rather than turn back to finish with him. I get it. And I am learning.
So back to MP and you --
How do YOU mix friends, training partners, racing, and knowing when to stick together or separate? What do you do when you're having that runner's high and your partner is experiencing a low point or just not quite as strong of a day?
