the need for white bread

TK was our coach at Bishop Kenny High School in my senior year.  

We had such a great team for so many years.  We loved each other and come to think of it - we needed each other.  To do our best and to reach our goals we needed each other. 

It was 1999. Again we had big team goals and I had a big individual goal for the state cross-country meet.

Executing

.

Our 4th, 5th, and 6th girls were going to be key factors in how our team scored, if we won, and if we could take over a state record from Plant High School.  Let's be honest - every team member's points counted.  It always seemed close.
(Which by the way - Plant has continued to dominate and again just won another State Championship earlier this month!)

Coach was important and although I was intrinsically motivated, I wanted and needed that extra support.  Cross-county is hard as heck and all support, cheering, and recognition is helpful.  Coach had been important all season and I knew she, too, could help all of us out on that day.  She told us that after the start she would be near the half-mile mark into the race and also at the 2-mile mark.

I specifically asked her to cheer something very unmistakable.  I wanted something my ear would pick up on, was specifically meant for me, and it would be unmistakable that it was her.  It would remind me that she's as in-tune and was also doing anything and everything she could at that moment.  It would remind me how each of us has to execute our own role as best possible.  

I knew that when I heard it it would give me a boost.  Never did I ever wonder if she might forget me asking her to cheer "White Bread!" when she saw me at the 2mi mark.  I knew I could count on her even when the race was tight to be specific and on-point just like the rest of us.  We all knew we could all count on each other.  We needed each other.  

Nice point, Summer Sanders! (part 2 of 2, mom focus)

THAT was the end of a fancy week.  The charcuterie -- I wanted to eat more of it, but had to balance it with talking and being proper and making introductions.  If I could have just eaten it, I wouldn't have had to think about it all night.
But actually I didn't think about it all night.  I thought about my mom.  I thought about how good a job she did.  

(Who wants to tell me how to make this right side up?)

Last post, I talked about my dad and how he, like Mia Hamm's dad, knew very little about the sport in which his daughter was starting to compete in and love.  I promised the other side of the story.
My dad wasn't a vocal cheerer and as I mentioned, he may not have really known how to cheer.

But if you know my mom, we ALL know she can get a bit vocal.  She comes from a vocal family and is the oldest!  Now, she didn't grow up running either, but she was home more than my dad and really paid attention to me.  I didn't talk a lot as a kid or through high school.  (I was described by my carpool ride, PP, as "habitually taciturn").  She did a lot of observing.

Then came races.  As SO'B replied to the previous post on Facebook, yes - she cheered loudly.  She cheered, "You are beautiful" loudly.  She cheered, "Smile!  You are beautiful!" loudly.

Recently I was listening to an interview Summer Sanders did where she talked about her parents and how their whole lives did not revolve around how Summer swam that day.  Summer mentions how after meets they'd go to the pizza parlor and she'd be given ten quarters.  I got to go to Wendy's and get the spicy chicken sandwich (still a favorite!) after a race and my mom would have big bowl of grits and eggs ready for me when I got done with my weekend long run.  It didn't matter if I had PRd in the race.  She would always ask me if I wanted to go to Wendy's.  
Then-- it was my decision on what to do with that offer.  
I'd usually choose yes, but I do remember a time after the Summer Beaches run (probably 1993 or 94) in Jacksonville when I definitely didn't want to go because I didn't feel like I had come close to earning it.  I felt like it would diminish the specialty if I went after I hadn't really tried.  But that was all my decision.  She still always offered.
She supported me as I showed the consistent dedication.  She kept me accountable when I was simply tired.  She gave me time to think and process and develop according to my desires and drives.  


Now I'm reminded what I asked my coach, TK, used to cheer my senior year.
Tell you next time.

Nice point, Mia Hamm! (part 1 of 2 = dad focus)

Did you know Mia Hamm and Nomar Garciaparra are married?  

This morning I watched a Livestream event on Facebook put on by a coworker of mine out in Los Angeles.  He has constructed a really fantastic Thought-Leadership series and may inspire me to develop one.  

(Calling in Tampa: Derek Jeter, Jeff Cathey, Charlie Strong, Colleen Healy, Army Leroy, Tony Prado, the LaPortas, Jay Trezevant, Tyler Cathey, Andrew Wright, and I have so many more of you in mind...)

The event was an interview with Nomar Garciaparra and Mia Hamm focused on sports parenting.  I'm not a parent, but I've had two fantastic sports parents and I continually pay attention to this subject.  
Now, I have to confess -- as I listened I was constantly thinking, "My goodness, those two are SO on the same page!  It's like they've discussed all these ideas before."  
Right - I had no clue they were married.  

Mia was talking about growing up and her dad learning the sport with her.  He wasn't an expert in soccer and didn't teach her soccer skills.  For sure, this was the same situation with my dad.  
I am the only person in my family that has run competitively.  If you check out my Facebook cover photo right now you will quickly understand and be convinced!  I started running when I was ten years old and really got into the sport in high school.  I'd have a cross-country race and my dad would ask what time I ran.  Mid-season when I said 20:04, he would ask why I hadn't run faster than the previous race.  He asked in a totally curious way, not with a questioning tone.  I explained to my dad that the course was mushy.  He was expressing interest and I was happy and proud that he was listening, paying attention, and trying to learn.  He really knew nothing about cross-country and wasn't sure why I was so into putting my left foot in front of my right.    Late season would roll around and I'd finish in 19:36.  He'd give me a pat on the back and ask how I'd run so much faster.  I'd explain to him that there was better competition, I'd gotten in a bit more training, we ran our first mile in 6:18 instead of 6:34, and I started my push to the finish at 600m out instead of 400m.  The championship season would come and he'd ask me the game plan going into it.  I would tell him what my goals, expectations, and strategy were for me and my teammates for districts, regionals, and State.  We'd debrief after each race. In that debrief, it was again him listening and asking a couple curious questions to understand the new-to-him sport, how team points worked, and me telling him my perspective.  
By the time I was a senior in high school, I was more impressed by my dad and could feel his love and proudness when he asked questions that made it evident how much he'd been paying attention to me and even possibly looking up a thing or two.  He would ask me if Hilary or Kelly would be a the meet. He would ask me what kind of course the race was going to be on and if it would be a fast start or a pretty steady race.  He let me do the talking.  Mia Hamm explained a similar scenario of her dad's learning as time passed and she progressed.
It's got to be tough if you're a parent and you're watching your son or daughter do a sport that you know very well.  It's hard to not critique or ask "Why did you do that move?" or "Why didn't you do -this idea- instead?" or to question what a coach's plans were.  

Thanks Mia for talking about your dad and helping me more strongly realize how my dad was a really good parent when it came to sports even though he knew nothing about cross-country!  It sounds like both guys were good sports parents ...and we as athletes are thankful.  

My mom - oh, don't you worry - she's part 2 of this blog.  
Who remembers what she yelled at me during a race?!

Maybe I'll be a parent one day...

Facebook Livestream video was posted on Positive Coaching Alliance on April 12th at 9:26pm.
In case you didn't grow-up watching Mia Hamm: http://hersportscorner.com/mia-hamm/

OK, quick question for you.

Readers, 
Answer me this, please.  
When I have written so far, I have referred to each person by his or her initials rather than first name or full name.  I didn't want to expose people if they didn't want to be fully exposed.  I do, however, want to acknowledge people.
What do you think?  What would you want?  
Thanks!

I took it ALL wrong!

Two months back, my cousin, LA, graduated from that other state institution in Tallahassee (FSU).  As a graduation gift to my mom, LA fancied up the canvas you see above.  I've always been a sucker for mixed media, but more importantly -- 
You see, my mom is a math tutor.  She has been since I was a little kid.  Growing up, it was normal to have a classmate, teammate, or neighborhood friend sitting at the dining room table with my mom after school.  Papers would be spread out all over the tabletop and I could see calculus, algebra, trig, or geometry being explained page by page as I came home from practice and put away my lunch bag.  Up to my room I'd scurry and contemplate my own assignments.  

My mom would help a student understand math.  She didn't seem focused on the final result.  She really focused on comprehension of the subject matter.  I know that students she tutored got to points in exams where they could do more than 'plug and chug' and they could actually problem solve.  For many years I relied on doing example after example after example (much like mile after mile after mile) so that when I saw a math problem in an exam, I would substitute new numbers and values for ones just like I had practiced.  I got the answers right and I got As in math, but I didn't quite understand the math aspect.  I was really good at patterns and getting a result.  I trusted my mom and the patterns got harder. 

I knew my mom was good at what she did and I relied on that sometimes a bit too much.  It would be late the night before my own math exam and I'd rundown the steps and plea for immediate help.  Some reason I wasn't getting the right results when I'd compare my answers to the back of the book.   She'd want to explain the process to me and give me analogies of how math was like cats and dogs.  I'd get so aggravated!  "Mom, I need the answer.  That's all.  The test is tomorrow and I need to know how to spit out the answer." 
She wasn't a fan of this and I took it ALL wrong.  For awhile there, I thought my mom didn't too much care about results.  I thought she was solely focused on the process.  She'd look at the problems I needed to complete and understand them in the big world of mathematics.  I needed the immediate outcome.  I needed the result. 

My mom also tutored my cousin, LA - the girl that painted the "Results Matter" canvas above.  LA got it ALL right.  My mom focused on the process and fully understood it to get the result.  Every time.  LA, thanks for really understanding and expressing it so vividly!  You got it ALL right (well, maybe except for that FSU decision, haha!)

I never wanted to quit.

     At the start of the year, my mom sent me an article via text.  I'd say I read 99% of the articles she sends.  It's a way we communicate.  She sends me the article and I read it.  When I'm in a really bad mood or when I'm really tired I usually misinterpret the reason she sent it and think, 'golly, she's being so pushy."  When all is normal, we talk about it.  
I was a little confused why she sent this particular one to me, and I rolled my eyes thinking  "What the heck is she thinking that I've quit on here?"
     The article was written by Amy Sullivan, PsyD, and it was published in the Cleveland Clinic/ Consult QD.  She titled it, "What keeps you going when you want to quit?"
Like I said, I was immediately unsure of why I was reading the article.  What was my mom trying to tell me through this article?  I looked on the right side of my phone and that the scroll bar was big.  Ok - I could get through this pretty easily, it was short.  The article talked about Amy, the author herself, her sister, and running.  
     You know how it is - if you're into elephants and your mom sees an article about elephants, she lets you know about it.  Or maybe you're into motorcycles and so anyone that knows you and is having a motorcycle issue always asks you about their bike's engine or fuel pump.  Maybe you're state patrol and so at every party someone tells you about the last time they got pulled over.  
      So yes, this article now was about running.  Easy read for me.  I moved onto the next paragraph and where Amy asks this question:  "What keeps an individual engaged and moving forward during times that we want to quit?"  
What's your answer?  


Hers is...resiliency.  

My mind was wrapped around the idea of running because that's the context in which the article is written.  When I was really focused on running and being diligent about it, I never wanted to quit.  I can't think of ONE time that I wanted to quit when I was training hard and racing.  I am incredibly grateful for that.  I realize that's why I didn't care to read this article = it didn't really apply deeply.  Although the context of running applied to me, the idea of wanting to quit never applied.  I was resilient then.  I never wanted to quit.  In fact, I recall how much I wanted to run.  I recall how I wanted to be so ready to go hard.  Each time I went hard, I grew more resilient.  
What do you call the opposite of a snowball effect (that term has a negative connotation)? Whatever the answer, I had that.  I believe many of us have that.  The harder you work consistently, the easier it is to continue working hard.  
...as long as you get enough sleep!
...and good results help, too!

Yes, her article was short.   
= Resiliency helps you not quit.  Got it.

I had a few minutes to keep reading and I read another article.  "What keeps you going when you want to quit?"  This one is by a guy that has a pretty good blog.  His name is Michael Hyatt and I like that he writes very clearly.  His answer is a bit different.  You can see the link below for his take.

Links =
https://consultqd.clevelandclinic.org
https://michaelhyatt.com/what-keeps-you-going-when-you-want-to-quit/

3 questions above:
     1) "What keeps an individual engaged and moving forward during times that we want to quit?"
     2) What is the opposite of a snowball effect? 
     3) "What keeps you going when you want to quit?"

Dear Gran'momma,

Dear Gran'momma,
I love you dearly and I am so happy I got to spend time with you on your birthday. I love spending time with you on Sundays, too.  I was quite bummed out when my mom told me you weren't coming on the horseback riding trip in the Gulf.  We came up with the idea and thought you'd LOVE it.  My mom said that you had ridden horses a lot as a child and that you'd even done it through the water.  We thought you'd love it again and it was going to be a great girls' trip on a Sunday at the Sunshine Skyway.  My mom set-up the reservation with Cypress Breeze Farms and when I asked her details, she told me you weren't coming.  
We thought you'd love it --so what happened?  
She said you didn't want to get hurt.  I never like to hear that from someone.  Gran'momma, you're most agile and athletic and I was certain you wouldn't fall off or get hurt.  This basic reasoning didn't sound like you.  You take things head-on.  You're aggressive and have a go-for-it attitude.  My mom proceeded to tell me that you didn't want to risk it because if anything went wrong you wouldn't be able to play tennis.  NOW I GET IT!  And I love you more!  I love that you know what you like, you know what is important to you, and you stick with it.  You didn't cave in to peer pressure or try to make us happy.  You stuck to your guns.  While I would have loved to have seen you smiling and having fun up on a horse out in the water, I am so glad you got in your doubles match on Monday morning.  And you won!  Thank-you for being you and for setting a strong example to me about knowing where to focus and how to execute.  What have you done recently that's taken you out of focus from your priorities? 

Prepare Yourself

(3 of 3)



with Liz, German, Kirubel, and Kelly

I was SO dang sore.  I knew I’d be in a rough situation when I was getting sore DURING the last half mile of Gasparilla! After a Tuesday shakeout, I did a light workout on Wednesday and scheduled hilly bridge repeats for not just a couple days later, but the next week.  I ran the bridge repeats with ML who was also looking to race the Gate River Run and PR.   We pushed it on the uphills and it was super windy from the west.  At this point the Gate River Run 15K wasn’t too far away.  Just 3 more days!  The day before the race, I got together with my high school friend OS and we ran through UNF’s trails.  I know myself well enough at this point.  If I hadn’t scheduled both sessions, I am certain I wouldn’t have done either big run.  The 8miles worth of bridge repeats would  have been a basic 4mi run in my neighborhood.  The 5mi trail run would have either been a basic 3mi shuffle or a sleep-in with the idea of 'rest' being rationalized.  But I prepared, scheduled them, and did them.  Happily.

 

The race began.  When I got to the Hart Bridge (the Green Monster) at roughly mile 8, I saw three girls ahead of me.  I knew that I could get the first girl and I loved feeling the adrenaline to fight.  It wasn’t a hard pass, but I made sure to jump on it. Then came the second girl I passed and I was gaining mental momentum.  It got windy and I was maybe half way up the bridge.  I looked ahead and saw the third girl.  She was a ways up.  I attempted a couple quick calculations.  Math calculations get significantly harder deep into a race.  My watch was all out of whack and the race clocks were set for the overall field, not the women’s elite wave.  I looked ahead and figured that I needed to beat that girl if I wanted to get under 58:00.  I’d run 58:12 at Gasparilla and everyone conceded that Gate was slower.  = It’s hotter at Gate, twists through neighborhoods, and contains two bridges.   Still, I wanted to break 58 for me.  For some reason I was sure I had to beat the girl near the top of the bridge to do so.   As soon as I was getting close, the Green Monster got to her and she broke.  She was walking.  No way in hell was I letting someone who was walking beat me.  No way.  I was happy to get feisty.  I was closing in on her and she started running again.  Race was on!  Fight was on!  I peeked over at her as I passed and I realized by her pink singlet that she lives in Jacksonville and runs for the local running store, 1^st Place Sports.  I love that place, but no way was she going to beat me.  I’d worked hard up the bridge and had to defend my position by running aggressively downhill and getting a little ugly over the last two minutes.  It worked and I ran 57:48!  I finished 41^st or 42^nd and you could argue I wasn’t in the fight.  I'd argue I was in my own little fight and I proved to myself how important preparation is for me.  The little bit of preparation I did between the Gasparilla 15K and the Gate 15K wasn’t a lot, but it did help me pull on many past deeper experiences of being feisty, being compelled, and feeling competitive.  It was so good to be in the fight!

Push Yourself

     Pushing Myself (2 of 3)

The next two posts in this 3-part series focus on the single idea of ‘Pushing Myself’ that played out two different ways between the Gasparilla 15K and Gate River Run 15K.  Thankfully, the better scenario plays itself out later in the series.  I learned from the poor preparation and made a good adjustment! 

At the end of February I squeezed in the Gasparilla 15K.  My calendar of events didn’t fully align with the Gasparilla 15K, but I wanted to give it a ‘go’ and put myself on the line for the straight-forward challenge.  I couldn’t bow-out because I wasn’t fully prepared.  Not these days.  Might as well run hard, push myself, and see what I could do --plus it’s such a great local race with such great people and I've got history with it!

1993 - Susan was the director then and still is now!

I ran a bit better than I suspected, but we all know that when the gun goes off, I’m going to go hard.  I could only go so hard due to fitness.  Gasparilla 15K = Flat out & back race.  I ran 6:16s over the first half/6:15s over the second half.  Pretty dang good execution.  Controlled, but hard.  I ran the first 7.5 or so miles side-by-side with EW.  (I wrote about EW in my initial post  about the Disney Marathon).

Thanks, MarathonFoto!

So—to get to it: What stuck out is that when EW took off with about 1.5 miles to go, I couldn’t respond/ I couldn’t match it.  It wasn’t just physical.  Much of it was, yes; however, I had no recent experience in pushing myself.  I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t have the drive, I didn’t feel compelled, I lacked practice.  I had nothing to pull from for motivation or need.  I hadn’t worked for it.  She got away from me tenth-by-tenth and I had no fight.   I enjoyed running a good hard race, but I didn’t enjoy not being in the fight!

Afterwards I reflected and figured Gasparilla would be a good practice and wake-up call before the Gate River Run 15K two weeks later in March.  I recognized I needed to run and practice pushing myself before the Gate River Run.  I wasn’t going to line up in my hometown… in the women’s elite crowd…wearing New Balance head-to-toe… and not be significantly more aggressive. A couple days later came the hilly bridge repeats late on a windy morning.

 

 

Find Yourself

AH wins the Big-12 1K!
 
Mid-February I was spurred to write down "Find Yourself" in my blog notes.  I knew it would be my next topic, but I tossed this one around for a little bit.  Ok, a long bit.  That was mid-February, and yes, now it's mid-May.  I bought a total fixer upper in the meantime and wrote the next two parts of this mini-series.  I struggled with wrapping this one into a pretty topic, but I won't let this idea die.  Stick with me on these. 

• What do you think helps you "find yourself" or "know yourself" well? 

When I was in college I had a friend, RR, that went on a big pilgrimage.  He did the Camino de Santiago, a long walk, over in Spain.  He was a decent Spanish speaker, but he wanted to do the self-guided two-week walk quietly.  I specifically remember when he said he wanted to "find himself" along the way.  I'm all for self-reflection and it is something I work on, but for me I bet after a couple days, I'd zone out and just walk along step-by-step...slowly. 

Camino de Santiago

I identify so much more with the girl pictured above.  I know AH and helped coach her during her freshman year at OSU.  After this past fall cross-country season, she said she was going to "step it up and just see what could happen."  When asked about her plan going into the race above: "My plan was to win."

• How would you face the pilgrimage and what would you get out of that?
• How would you face the possibility of a big win--one that's been eluding you?
• Do you find more success in 'finding yourself' or 'getting to know yourself' more in times of quiet or when faced with challenges?

I love time to slow down and reflect, don't get me wrong.  I try to do it a couple times per week.  I sit in my green rocking chair and read a Biblical reflection or an essay on ethics and perspective.  I sip a coffee and zone in on the ideas.  Then I write about it.  Writing makes me be accountable and it also is a tool to help me remember ideas more fully.  

I have had the opportunity to jump in some road races again the last few months.  I can't help it, but I love running.  I love how it makes me feel and I fully appreciate how straight-forward a race is, too.  I got away from it for a bit, but my goodness, I love those moments of difficulty and seizing the moment to press onward.  I love to create the challenge and step up to it.  Races are major practices and huge reinforcements.  I have signed up for more.  I know what greatness they serve me.  They help me not only know myself, but get to practice executing my values.

  

 



Leave your friend behind?

   A couple weeks back I ran into my friend, MP.  She was just getting done with a pedicure and I was leaving work in Tampa.  We'd been in middle school and high school together and played on the same basketball teams.  --Bumping into her is one of the reasons I'm so glad I've moved back to Florida.  I get to run into people that I already know and want to know more. 
  MP opened up to me about her most recent race out west.  She had a "strange, uncomfortable, all around bad experience" running her second-ever half-marathon.  Guess what - it got hard at mile 10!  At first, I thought to myself, "well, yes - that's always where it gets hard in a 13.1 mile race.  I also recalled this idea:
 

"Never really give in as long as you have an earthly chance, and above all don't allow yourself to fancy that you are in this predicament until the gruesome knowledge is absolutely forced upon you.  For however bad you may be feeling, it is by no means impossible that other fellows may be feeling quite as much, if not more distressed." -- Alf Shrubb

For MP, it wasn't just that it got hard, it was that she had a complete meltdown and she was doing the event side-by-side with a friend.  As she was melting down she told her friend to run ahead.  Her friend wouldn't leave her behind and continue her own race.  She stuck around trying to be a good friend.  MP got more frustrated.  And then more again, begging and bargaining with her friend to go ahead.  MP even sprinted a couple times to ditch her friend.  It got ugly.  MP pretended to rally back over the course of the last mile, but still felt sad, guilty, and like she'd ruined the entire race and muddied her friendship for the rest of the day.  MP's friend really had been in a bind. 

   I am really thankful she shared her story with me as three times since then I have been in a similar situation. 
   Last weekend I ran with my boyfriend.  RB doesn't get quite as excited about running as I do.  Not at all.  In fact, he simply doesn't enjoy running at all.  He does it because he knows the cardio is good and it's a super efficient and effective exercise.  We did a fartlek throughout mile 2 and he was pretty worn out half a mile later.  He told me to go ahead.  At this point I recalled MP's story.  He and I both recognized he was struggling at this point whereas I felt good.  RB was in MP's shoes and I was the friend.  I ran ahead.  I felt good.  I got to the end of our route a couple minutes later (3mile route) and then turned back to finish the run with RB.  There was my mistake!  He felt like since I turned around and came back to run with him, essentially I beat him twice.  And he's competitive.  Ouch! 
   He and I ran together again a few days later.  I have learned that with him, I can run ahead and then it's best to add on a mile rather than turn back to finish with him.  I get it.  And I am learning. 
So back to MP and you --
How do YOU mix friends, training partners, racing, and knowing when to stick together or separate?  What do you do when you're having that runner's high and your partner is experiencing a low point or just not quite as strong of a day?

 

Nice AND Hard

In 2011 I listened to one of my favorite books on tape.  It was Tina Fey's sort of memoir and chronology on work and life.  'Bossypants' was funny and informative.  I listened each morning as I got ready to head out for work at WebMD.  At one point she discusses how in being a comedian on stage with other comedians, the use of the word 'and' makes all the difference.  It keeps the act going.  The use of the word 'but' kills an act. 
Speaking of keeping the act going, how can you use the word 'and' as I demonstrate below?

For years I went to bed early, woke up early, trained, and raced.  I know I've mentioned before - I loved it!  However, since not living that lifestyle anymore, I hadn't found a big reason to wake up early during the week, on the weekend, run much or run hard.  Instead, I found myself wanting to have a nice morning.  I figured this meant to wake up naturally, make a cup of coffee, spritz it up with steamed and frothed milk or Cool Whip out of the can, finish it off with a pinch of mocha powder, and read the latest installment of The Week under a little blanket.  While I was living in Oklahoma I'd also go pet every horse, cow, donkey, and buffalo I could.  Very nice morning.  Then 11am would roll around and I wasn't sure what to do.  Then 2pm would roll around, 4pm, and then the evening.  The easy day cruised along.  It seemed nice.  Nothing too hard.

That's me on the left along with the race directors in hats, my friend and co-worker, Kristen, and Jenny Simpson in the polka-dots.

Earlier this month I put on a race bib again.  It had been 3-4years since I'd put on a race bib, lined up, and paid attention to mile markers, splits, and what place I was in from start to finish.  I didn't actively and specifically train for the Disney Wine & Dine 1/2 Marathon, yet I had a string of early morning workouts and some Sunday track practices where I had started to go hard. I am really glad I woke up before 5am, put on the race bib, got to the starting line, and let my nature kick in. I ran 6:26s over the first half of the run and was pretty happy about how I was feeling in my racing flats.  I negative split the thing and ran 6:04 average over the last 5K with the last mile in 5:44.  I worked hard over the last mile or two.  I was happy and it was the nicest thing I've done for myself in quite some time.   I finished and was so happy that I'd gone hard.  It's not too often that we combine Nice AND Hard in our brains. 
Can you think of what you do in your life that is Nice AND Hard?

What's your motivation?

I was down in Sarasota last week talking with a girl I know fairly well.  She had done one Spartan Beast Challenge competition earlier this month.  Next, she is travelling to a Spartan event in South Carolina and Jacksonville after that.  As she talked more, I realized that she really-really likes these events and a lot of her life revolves around Spartan activities.  I've never done one so I couldn't fully get absorbed in her stories.  When I asked her, "Why SC?" she told me that this particular 3-part series, multi-location Spartan Beast Challenge gets a really-really cool medal. I kept quiet while thinking, "You're going to travel to SC to line yourself up for a  3-part series completion medal?" 

I kept listening, but I again realized that I am in 0-no way motivated by special medals like these or the Disney Coast-to-Coast ones.  It's great that some people get excited by that.  You've got to get excited by something, and well - can you imagine how competitive or depressing it would be if we were all only motivated by the same single thing?   I'm glad she's found something that revs her up.  On my drive home I had to think about what revved me up before and what revs me up now. 

It's not medals.  It never has been.  It wasn't the state rings that were my motivating factor, except a tad bit for the one that I got to mimic my brother's. 
The motivation, for me, would be to have people know me, to be famous in my field, for people to think highly of me, for them to want my autograph, to be sought out for interviews or posters, to have the platform to talk with coaches and kids and adults about athletics and the role it has in my life. 
In high school, I was motivated by breaking records and getting the State Championship. I enjoyed the pictures up in the gym with my teammates and coaches, by myself, and next to my brother.  Those pictures would be there for years.  If the records were good enough, they'd be there for years, too. The work would stick around for a little while longer.  For awhile they could see my name or my face and recall how hard I worked, how nice our group of girls was, or be motivated by the example, understand the tradition, and accept the challenge.
Yeah, the last two paragraphs might sound selfish or be egotistical, but those things were somewhat motivating.  Moreso I'd say I was thankful and it was nice to receive the recognition and to represent.  It may have also been for the reason that how we competed didn't involve running out of a tunnel to cheering crowds or coordinated cheers in the student section.  We ran over train tracks, into the woods for awhile, and met early in the morning and ran while it was still dark outside.  Half of our competitions weren't at home.
The real motivation (the non-things) has come from constant intrinsic discipline.  I wouldn't get outworked.  I had a young head that developed strongly around the ideas of doing what I learned, what I was told, and what was needed.  I pushed because I could.  How could you not?  How could you leave practice before you were done?  How could you not complete your weight room workout and step it up from the previous workout?  How could you not run the given mileage and strides as prescribed or even one more if you lost count? Why were these ideas so strongly burnt in me? 
I'm glad they were though. What things and non-things motivate you?  What doesn't motivate you at all?

 

Gregorian

A couple weeks ago, my godmother, Margo, sent me an article in the mail.  I send links all the time, but let me tell you - it was really nice to get this article in an envelope in my mailbox.  I am glad Margo sent it to me.  It was an article about Courtney Frerichs, a recent master's graduate, who ran the 3K Steeplechase in the 2016 Olympics and PRd at the meet.  She's a Kansas City girl - where Margo lives.  One particular paragraph stood out from the article.  I tore it out and have stared at it day after day.  I don't recall who wrote the article because I only have the torn-out paragraph now.  Still, I want to share this with you and give the writer credit for these words:
And here we might all pause in appreciation of those people in life who see in us something we don't know we have, those who believe in you before you believe in yourself and change your range and direction and self-perception.
Who might you believe in like this and guide along the way?

What's on YOUR plate (part 2 of 2)

I am very literal.  To me, your words mean a lot.  I am a believer in context and the specifics of your content. 
As I have mentioned, I am careful when it comes to relying on quotes.  I want to believe in not only the singular quote, but also the overarching theme and the speaker's values. 
Since high school and even into my years as a coach at UCF, I had a bulletin board up in my room, locker, or office.  (anyone still use bulletin boards anymore?)  I kept a powerful quote on that bulletin board...and well, it is from the Bible, so it's pretty easy to value!
1 Corinthians 10:21

You cannot drink from the cup of the Lord and from the cup of demons, too. You cannot eat at the Lord's Table and at the table of demons, too.

This quote in 1st Corinthians centers around fleeing from idolatry.  You know though - the Bible can be tough to understand!  And I was a 17yr old looking for discipline and reminders to be good and steadfast all the time.  I didn't idolize cross-country, but I did and still do heavily value the sport.  To do well was a healthy desire.  I used this quote to remind me to be a good person all the time everywhere.  I used this quote to not be a hypocrite.  I used it to help me keep choosing the good path.  I used it to remind myself to be a "24-hour-athlete" that was training through the summer and all school season.  I wasn't just showing up for practice day after day. 

First race of 1999 cross-country season (senior Hilary White Spier in black & me in red)

Final race of 1999 cross-country season (sophomore Jill Gerber leading and senior and college teammate Kelly Walker Brasol just behind me)

 

Being a 24hr athlete is another way of understanding the difference between being in 'practice mode' where you're going to practice in the morning or after school and spending an hour or so running versus being in 'training mode'.  Training mode is when you're living the life that supports your goals.  You're not practicing hard, but also sleeping very little.  Those are two very different things to have on your plate that do not support each other.  You're not running intervals hard on Sunday, but keeping your heart rate at 125bpm the rest of the week.  Practice mode is showing up for 2hrs of practice and eating chips for dinner because you didn't feel like making chicken and veggies.  Where do you fall short in training?  What keeps you from being a 24hr athlete?  Do you have too many things on your plate?  Where's your conflict, what's your demon?  Thankfully, my teammates and our coach, Tracey Kuhn, shared the same values and beliefs.  I am so thankful for Ashley, Natalie, Erin, Ali, Marisa, Ashley, Jen, Nicole, Leah, and Coach Tracey Kuhn.

 







What's on YOUR plate? (part 1 of 2)

When I decided to get back to competition, I called a few people I really trusted and who understood what was ahead --the people I considered experienced experts.  Ok, and also the people that I knew would pick up the phone and have this conversation with me.  I also called these two coaches because they knew ME.  I talked to Kevin Jermyn at Duke and Bob Braman at FSU.  In previous blog postings, you may recall I've mentioned both for something else they've helped me with along the way. 

I sat in my apartment in Orlando.  I was at the dining room table, probably taking notes.  I've always liked putting pen to paper.  One thing Kevin said to me really stood out.  He said, "you can have three things on your plate."  He wasn't talking about peas and carrots and chicken or salad and rice and beans.  He was telling me that I needed to focus in on my goals and not have too many things going on at once.  I knew Kevin was right.  I had heard him say this before to athletes at Duke when we coached there together.  I heeded his wisdom and moved to Indianapolis.  I lived there for about a week at which point I realized I had moved to Indiana.  Indiana?  I'm a Florida girl!  At that time I knew I had made a good move.  Over the next few years I was reminded of this good move every time I passed the corn fields.  I was in a place where I'd start fresh and get to really set the stage for concentrated training.  I moved into a situation and created the atmosphere I needed for success.  The three items on my plate were training and competing, a part-time clock-in and clock-out job, and a group of training partners that were like-minded.  I didn't try to make a lot of money with a full-time job, multiple jobs, or side jobs.  That wasn't my goal for this time period.  I didn't try to advance my career by joining local leadership programs, doing networking lunches, or by getting another master's degree.  That wasn't my goal.  I didn't proactively try to meet people that were submersed in the arts, triathlon, managing gyms, or teaching.  That wasn't my goal.  My goal was to fully prepare for each and every practice so I would be prepared to compete each and every time. 

Bob told me the same thing.  He encouraged the part-time job.  Afterall, you can't sit in your room and stare at a wall all day when you have an easy day.  Staring at the wall is also the last thing you want to do when you have a bad day. 
Guess what?  For the four years I lived this way, I PRd each year in each event. 
Who would you call?  How many items do you have on YOUR plate?

Preparing to Race--Your Mantra (part 3 of 3)

"It's worth it" on the inside of my purple state ring

The last two posts discussed my talk, "Preparing to Race" at the Brevard Distance Runner's Camp.  The discussion was carried out in three parts and yes, the final part was about a mantra.  You may have guessed that from the title of this post.

Do YOU have a mantra?  Do you know what a mantra is?

After my sophomore year of high school cross-country I wasn't sure about doing cross-country the final two years.  I enjoyed basketball and did well in track, yet cross-country had been difficult and hadn't gone so well. Maybe it wasn't for me I thought.  I loved my team and also I was brought up being taught the values of hard work and having to do things you don't always want to do.  I dug in and worked hard my junior year of cross-country and finished runner-up at the state meet.  Like anyone, I knew I had to win the state championship my senior year.  That meant I had to run more the summer of 1999 than I ever had and that it was going to be tough.  Thus began my mantra, "It's worth it." 

By combining the physical aspect from post 1 and the mental aspects of post 2, I got to work.  I repeatedly used my mantra. When it could have been easy to think, "I want to sleep in" or "Maybe I'll just run later" or "Why am I doing this?" or "I don't want to keep going" or "Who cares?" etc, I trained my brain, mile after mile, to default to "It's worth it."  I used this mantra daily as I worked hard, got tired, missed some fun nights, and the finish line seemed far off.  I used this and it worked. 

What's YOUR mantra going to be this upcoming season?  Find your idea or phrase from something meaningful or inspirational to you.  Then practice it over and over again.  Train your brain to default to what keeps you on track for your goals.  It's worth it. 





Preparing to Race (part 2 of 3)

At camp, after my great opening idea on what it takes to be prepared to race, most of the high school cross-country athletes understood and agreed that--  especially right now, the most important thing they could do to be prepared was to stay on top of their summer training.  To me, that seems pretty straightforward and physical.  Run, run, run when you’re tired, run so much you might cry, or snap, or cry and snap, and then run again more than you ever have.  That’s what summer going into your best season of high school looks like.  Physically tough, but straightforward. 

Many people also agree that running is some % mental and another % physical.  How does this work?  Where are you on the scale? On Monday afternoon I asked my first group at camp, “In July, do you find your sport to be more physical or mental?” I had them step to one side of the field to denote physical % majority or the other side to denote mental.  Then I asked them which majority side they leaned with in August once school had started, regular practice sessions were underway, and the first meet was nearby.  I moved on and asked them about October, the month of pre-state. And what about November?  On Monday and Tuesday I had completely different results amongst the groups.  We discussed each result along the way.

You might not be in high school, but do you have a season planned out?  …or do you have random races on your calendar?  What side would you stand on pre-season, early season, mid-season, and championship season?  How stuck in stone in this?  How does which side you stand on get adjusted by your previous race, your prior week’s training, reading about someone else’s result across the country, or by your coach and teammates and the culture and tradition of your training set-up?  Why did the Tuesday team’s responses look so different than the Monday group’s?

Later this week I will share with you part 3 of the talk I gave at the Brevard Distance Runner’s Camp.

Brevard Distance Runners Camp & Preparing to Race (part 1 of 3)

I LOVE this camp! And I've loved it since I started coming 20yrs ago.  Each July, I venture to Brevard, NC along with 500 other people that are excited to hit the mountainous trails of the Pisgah National Forest and Dupont State Park for a full week.  Some stay for the three separate weeks, but I make it for one. 

Each morning I am in charge of addressing a team or two and this year's topic was: Preparing to Race.
To get you up to speed with all of our high schoolers that were in on the discussion, here's a chance for you to imagine you were with us on the soft trails in the cool mountain air.
If I ask you, "Are you prepared to race?" you may first think about a quick checklist.  You may ponder:

• Am I hydrated? Have I eaten or packed the proper foods?
• Do I know the race start time? How am I getting there?
• What is my bedtime? Do I have my singlet, racing shoes, and bib all ready to go?

Imagine then it's August. The first race of the season is tomorrow and you're on your way home from a pasta dinner at a friend's house.  You're hydrated and you know the answers and have fulfilled the above questions.  Are you prepared to race?  Are you ready?
Well, not if you haven't done the training!  To be ready to race in August, Sept, Oct, Nov, you must-must-must be putting in the training.  Now.  This week.  This week on top of last week and each week moving forwards. 

• What are your summer training goals?  What are your weekly training goals?  What are your daily training goals? 

Are you hitting those?  What are you doing to ensure the highest likelihood of success towards each process goal? 
How are you preparing to be ready to race?  400miles in the summer, 50mpw, make each practice, run with the top group, keep a log, run 6 out of each 7 days?  Let's hear it! 

Next I had the athletes choose sides. 
In the month of July, is running more physical or mental?
In the month of August, is running more physical or mental?
In October?  What about in November?
Think about your season and we'll delve into responses next time.

(Did you see how fast Molly ran last week?!  Who can post her time fastest?)

 

Who's Molly? and 2010

Who's watching the Olympic Trials in Track & Field still?  Some pretty amazing results by some youngsters, veterans, and all in between.  It is exciting to see our team coming together. 
It didn't come together for a friend of mine.  Her name is Molly. 
I lived in Indianapolis for five years.  In last week's post I talked about 2008.  I said I'd talk about 2010 and I asked about Molly.  In following through on "Do what you say you're going to do" --I'm going to do just that!
While living in Indy, I met Molly.  We ran in many of the same meets.  Great girl and great work ethic.  Talented and driven.  Last week, this was her part of her post on Facebook:

I have been praised a thousand times for my resiliency and strength to carry on after have a career ending knee injury in soccer, ...5 knee surgeries to correct it, and miss 2 Olympic Teams and 1 World Championship team in track by a total of .3 seconds. I appreciate all of those thoughts and prayers.

Call it terrible luck. I can call it being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Unfortunately yesterday's Olympic Trials final cuts so deep that I am having trouble believing there is a silver lining at the end of all this. It has left me searching for answers and coming up with nothing but endless tears and a knot in my stomach.

Missed 2012 and 2016 Olympics and 1 World Championship team.  0.3seconds combined over 4 years.  Mere hundredths.  What would you say to her, what would you do? As her training partner, as her coach, as a teammate or loved one?  Where would you focus?  Have you experienced something like this?  Do you know someone that has been in a similarly tough situation? 

As a coach or teammate you have to do something.  You've been there the whole way through.  You must continue to stick with this person.  Nothing you say will make the situation all that much better.  How would you handle the situation if you were Molly?  Could you carry on?  What would be your motivation?

 

So back to 2010...in the next installment.  It involved a lot of phone calls and me not being quite pushy enough.  I got told 'no' a lot.  So what did I do?